Making Excuses: The Hidden Harm Behind Bad Behaviour in the Workplace

I recently witnessed a troubling contradiction that is all too common in workplaces. During a training session on workplace bullying and harassment my client (the employer) identified a problem that they were having in the workplace and asked to have it addressed.  The employees readily acknowledged that one particular behavior had become increasingly problematic. Yet, when it came time to address the reasons behind it, they began making excuses for it.

As part of the training, we held a group discussion about the specific challenges in their workplace that contribute to bullying. The topic of concern was raised, and all the employees agreed that it was a significant problem. The conversation turned to why people engage in this behavior and what strategies could minimize or eliminate it. Up until this point, the group had been receptive to problem-solving and creating a psychologically safe work environment. When we discussed this particular behavior, they justified it, saying they engaged in it because they were bored and needed entertainment.

A few days before the training, an incident occurred when a symbolic item was anonymously removed from the jobsite. The group perceived this act as bullying, and they quickly rallied together in solidarity, vowing to protect one another from further harm. However, when we discussed applying similar tactics—mutually accepted conventions and holding each other accountable—to address their own acknowledged harmful behavior, the group was dismissive. They made excuses, claiming that self-regulation and mutual accountability wouldn’t work.

What we need to ask ourselves is how often we justify harmful behaviors when they serve our own needs and desires? In this case, the perceived need for entertainment and connection became an excuse for damaging behavior towards others. This behavior, in place of boredom, gave individuals a sense of power and belonging within the group.

What was particularly revealing was how the group’s response shifted depending on whether they were directly impacted. When the symbolic item was removed, the group united and took a stand against what they perceived as bullying. However, when faced with their own behavior—behavior that was equally harmful—they refused to take responsibility, dismissing mutual accountability as unworkable.

In this instance, the need for entertainment can be filled through healthier avenues that don’t cause harm to others. It’s easy to justify harmful behavior when it benefits us, but the real challenge lies in taking personal responsibility for our actions. Tackling workplace bullying and toxic behavior isn’t just about creating rules—it’s about each person recognizing their role in either perpetuating or changing the culture. We all have the power to contribute to a healthier workplace by resisting the urge to follow the crowd and instead choosing to act with empathy and integrity. By filling our needs  through positive means, we can break the cycle of harm and foster a more respectful and supportive workplace.

Have you experienced something similar in your workplace? How did you handle it? Share your story and help us create a conversation about how we can all build healthier work environments. #TellYourOwnStory

Workplace Bullying Awareness Week

October 16th thru the 22nd is Workplace Bullying Awareness Week. When I saw this headline it got me wondering how prevalent was bullying in the workplace since the world re-opened after Covid-19. I had not seen any new statistics since the beginning of the pandemic and I am curious as to where things now stood statistically in relation to workplace bullying.

I went on a online search and found that the government of Canada had published the results of a recent bullying survey; I have summarized the survey and it’s findings for you.

The title of the survey is ‘Harassment and Sexual Violence in the Workplace Public Consultations What We Heard’, and is published by Employment and Social Development Canada. You can read the full report here: https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/services/health-safety/reports/workplace-harassment-sexual-violence.html

The survey took place online from February 14th to March 9th 2017 with 1349 respondents participating. 82% of the respondents identified as female.

This surveyed showed over 60% of respondents reporting having experienced harassment in the workplace. Many specified that they were the targets for sexual harassment, violence, and even sexual violence. The majority of people experiencing harassment were women and members of a visible minority.

Sadly, similar results to previous surveys that I have reviewed.

One of the suggestions that came from this survey is the need for education on the topic in the workplace. Informing employees of the policies in place to prevent bullying and harassment and how to safely report incidents.

Developing awareness of the issue is also reported as a necessary step to take in countering workplace bullying and harassment. I think one of the best places to start is by having a conversation.

This week, while you have your team meetings, or while getting your morning coffee; start a conversation.

Share what you have heard about the prevalence of bullying and harassment in the workplace. Ask your colleagues for their perspective and be open to hear what they may have to say. It could surprise you!

One reason bullying practices are able to continue in such large measures is often the fear of reprisal or of losing your job, or your status at work. Fear often comes from the unknown and the uncertain.

Talk about bullying in your workplace. Bring this topic out of the dark corners. Starting a discussion helps to remove any stigmas attached to a subject, it can also help to promote a safer environment for people to share their stories and what has been happening for them.

Shine a light on bullying in your workplace, and let’s talk.