Making Excuses: The Hidden Harm Behind Bad Behaviour in the Workplace

I recently witnessed a troubling contradiction that is all too common in workplaces. During a training session on workplace bullying and harassment my client (the employer) identified a problem that they were having in the workplace and asked to have it addressed.  The employees readily acknowledged that one particular behavior had become increasingly problematic. Yet, when it came time to address the reasons behind it, they began making excuses for it.

As part of the training, we held a group discussion about the specific challenges in their workplace that contribute to bullying. The topic of concern was raised, and all the employees agreed that it was a significant problem. The conversation turned to why people engage in this behavior and what strategies could minimize or eliminate it. Up until this point, the group had been receptive to problem-solving and creating a psychologically safe work environment. When we discussed this particular behavior, they justified it, saying they engaged in it because they were bored and needed entertainment.

A few days before the training, an incident occurred when a symbolic item was anonymously removed from the jobsite. The group perceived this act as bullying, and they quickly rallied together in solidarity, vowing to protect one another from further harm. However, when we discussed applying similar tactics—mutually accepted conventions and holding each other accountable—to address their own acknowledged harmful behavior, the group was dismissive. They made excuses, claiming that self-regulation and mutual accountability wouldn’t work.

What we need to ask ourselves is how often we justify harmful behaviors when they serve our own needs and desires? In this case, the perceived need for entertainment and connection became an excuse for damaging behavior towards others. This behavior, in place of boredom, gave individuals a sense of power and belonging within the group.

What was particularly revealing was how the group’s response shifted depending on whether they were directly impacted. When the symbolic item was removed, the group united and took a stand against what they perceived as bullying. However, when faced with their own behavior—behavior that was equally harmful—they refused to take responsibility, dismissing mutual accountability as unworkable.

In this instance, the need for entertainment can be filled through healthier avenues that don’t cause harm to others. It’s easy to justify harmful behavior when it benefits us, but the real challenge lies in taking personal responsibility for our actions. Tackling workplace bullying and toxic behavior isn’t just about creating rules—it’s about each person recognizing their role in either perpetuating or changing the culture. We all have the power to contribute to a healthier workplace by resisting the urge to follow the crowd and instead choosing to act with empathy and integrity. By filling our needs  through positive means, we can break the cycle of harm and foster a more respectful and supportive workplace.

Have you experienced something similar in your workplace? How did you handle it? Share your story and help us create a conversation about how we can all build healthier work environments. #TellYourOwnStory