Missing Pieces

Missing Pieces: Embracing the Whole Self in a World of Perceived Inadequacies

One of the most common yet isolating experiences many people face is the feeling that something is missing from their professional or personal lives—whether it’s a gap in knowledge, experience, or even confidence, leaving us feeling as is we are a puzzle with missing pieces.  This sensation of lacking critical pieces of the puzzle can often feel like an invisible weight, especially when it comes to our careers. We look around at our colleagues, and it seems like they have everything figured out— the right skills, the right education, the right connections—and we fear that somehow, we’re falling short. That we are not living up to unspoken expectations and are instead offering a false image of who we really are.

For many, this fear manifests in the form of imposter syndrome, that persistent sense that we are unqualified or unworthy of the position we hold. It's as if we are pretending to be someone we’re not, living with the fear of being ‘found out’. Truthfully, this feeling is more common than most people think. Nearly everyone experiences a form of this at some point in their career, regardless of their level of experience or success.

As someone who lives with complex PTSD, I can deeply relate to this feeling of missing parts of myself. Trauma, whether experienced in childhood or adulthood, often leaves us with emotional scars that manifest as gaps in our self-image, our sense of belonging, and our ability to trust in our own worth. For many trauma survivors, those missing pieces are a daily struggle. Feeling incomplete, as though we’ve been broken or damaged in some way that makes us less capable or less deserving than those around us.

The truth, however, is that the sensation of missing pieces doesn’t just belong to trauma survivors. It’s a universal experience. Everyone at some point in their life deals with the perception that they are lacking something whether it is skills, knowledge, or even a sense of self-assurance and confidence. For some, these feelings are fleeting, but for others, they can persist for years, manifesting as self-doubt, anxiety, or a constant drive to overcompensate by pretending everything is fine.

The biggest challenge is how we respond to this fear of inadequacy. Often, we internalize it, turning it inward into self-blame, self-loathing, or the constant urge to hide our vulnerabilities. We push ourselves to act as if we have everything under control, hoping no one notices the cracks in our facade. But the truth is, we are all masters of disguise in one way or another. Whether it’s in our professional life, our personal relationships, or how we show up in the world, we all wear masks to hide the parts of ourselves that we perceive as unacceptable.

The Power of a Safe Space

So, what can we do with these feelings of missing pieces? How can we begin to heal and embrace the wholeness that we are, even if we feel fragmented?

The first step is to acknowledge that these feelings are normal and that everyone experiences them. There is no perfect person—no one has all the answers or all the skills, no one is immune to insecurity or self-doubt. Recognizing that you are not alone in this can be incredibly helpful.

Secondly, it’s important to create a safe space where you can explore these feelings. In both personal and professional environments, a space that encourages vulnerability, openness, and curiosity can help you begin to uncover what is truly missing. This might be a supportive team, a mentor, or even a therapist—a space where you can talk through your perceived inadequacies without fear of judgment. It’s in these spaces that many of our fears are found to be unfounded. Often, the things we feel are missing are simply areas where we need more knowledge or experience—areas that can be developed over time, and that are not intrinsic deficits of  our character or ability.

Embracing the Whole Self

As we continue to grow, it’s crucial to realize that we don’t need to have everything figured out right now. Life is a journey of discovery and learning, and it’s okay to have gaps, to not have all the pieces in place. In fact, those gaps may be a source of strength. It’s through the process of identifying what we’re missing and seeking out those pieces that we build a richer, more resilient version of ourselves.

It’s also important to understand that there is no "perfect" version of yourself that you need to live up to. The idealized versions of others that we compare ourselves to often exist only in our minds. Everyone is working through their own challenges, usually in silence, and the external confidence we see in others is often a mask, just as we wear our own.

The next time you find yourself feeling like something is missing, or that you are somehow incomplete, remind yourself that this feeling is shared by almost everyone. Instead of focusing on what you think you lack, try to embrace the full spectrum of your experiences—flaws, gaps, and all. In fact, it’s often those very things that make us uniquely capable of growth, connection, and understanding.

We don’t need to be perfect. We just need to be whole.

We each have the ability to redefine our ‘puzzle’ to be a complete picture.

This journey toward embracing our "missing pieces" is a lifelong process, but it’s one that leads to deeper self-acceptance, resilience, and authenticity. Whether you are navigating the complexities of trauma or simply trying to find your footing in a demanding world, know that the feeling of being incomplete is not a flaw—it’s part of the human experience. The beauty of life lies in the discovery of who we are, and the peace that comes when we finally realize we are enough, just as we are.