Missing Pieces
Missing Pieces: Embracing the Whole Self in a World of Perceived Inadequacies
One of the most common yet isolating experiences many people face is the feeling that something is missing from their professional or personal lives—whether it’s a gap in knowledge, experience, or even confidence, leaving us feeling as is we are a puzzle with missing pieces. This sensation of lacking critical pieces of the puzzle can often feel like an invisible weight, especially when it comes to our careers. We look around at our colleagues, and it seems like they have everything figured out— the right skills, the right education, the right connections—and we fear that somehow, we’re falling short. That we are not living up to unspoken expectations and are instead offering a false image of who we really are.
For many, this fear manifests in the form of imposter syndrome, that persistent sense that we are unqualified or unworthy of the position we hold. It's as if we are pretending to be someone we’re not, living with the fear of being ‘found out’. Truthfully, this feeling is more common than most people think. Nearly everyone experiences a form of this at some point in their career, regardless of their level of experience or success.
As someone who lives with complex PTSD, I can deeply relate to this feeling of missing parts of myself. Trauma, whether experienced in childhood or adulthood, often leaves us with emotional scars that manifest as gaps in our self-image, our sense of belonging, and our ability to trust in our own worth. For many trauma survivors, those missing pieces are a daily struggle. Feeling incomplete, as though we’ve been broken or damaged in some way that makes us less capable or less deserving than those around us.
The truth, however, is that the sensation of missing pieces doesn’t just belong to trauma survivors. It’s a universal experience. Everyone at some point in their life deals with the perception that they are lacking something whether it is skills, knowledge, or even a sense of self-assurance and confidence. For some, these feelings are fleeting, but for others, they can persist for years, manifesting as self-doubt, anxiety, or a constant drive to overcompensate by pretending everything is fine.
The biggest challenge is how we respond to this fear of inadequacy. Often, we internalize it, turning it inward into self-blame, self-loathing, or the constant urge to hide our vulnerabilities. We push ourselves to act as if we have everything under control, hoping no one notices the cracks in our facade. But the truth is, we are all masters of disguise in one way or another. Whether it’s in our professional life, our personal relationships, or how we show up in the world, we all wear masks to hide the parts of ourselves that we perceive as unacceptable.
The Power of a Safe Space
So, what can we do with these feelings of missing pieces? How can we begin to heal and embrace the wholeness that we are, even if we feel fragmented?
The first step is to acknowledge that these feelings are normal and that everyone experiences them. There is no perfect person—no one has all the answers or all the skills, no one is immune to insecurity or self-doubt. Recognizing that you are not alone in this can be incredibly helpful.
Secondly, it’s important to create a safe space where you can explore these feelings. In both personal and professional environments, a space that encourages vulnerability, openness, and curiosity can help you begin to uncover what is truly missing. This might be a supportive team, a mentor, or even a therapist—a space where you can talk through your perceived inadequacies without fear of judgment. It’s in these spaces that many of our fears are found to be unfounded. Often, the things we feel are missing are simply areas where we need more knowledge or experience—areas that can be developed over time, and that are not intrinsic deficits of our character or ability.
Embracing the Whole Self
As we continue to grow, it’s crucial to realize that we don’t need to have everything figured out right now. Life is a journey of discovery and learning, and it’s okay to have gaps, to not have all the pieces in place. In fact, those gaps may be a source of strength. It’s through the process of identifying what we’re missing and seeking out those pieces that we build a richer, more resilient version of ourselves.
It’s also important to understand that there is no "perfect" version of yourself that you need to live up to. The idealized versions of others that we compare ourselves to often exist only in our minds. Everyone is working through their own challenges, usually in silence, and the external confidence we see in others is often a mask, just as we wear our own.
The next time you find yourself feeling like something is missing, or that you are somehow incomplete, remind yourself that this feeling is shared by almost everyone. Instead of focusing on what you think you lack, try to embrace the full spectrum of your experiences—flaws, gaps, and all. In fact, it’s often those very things that make us uniquely capable of growth, connection, and understanding.
We don’t need to be perfect. We just need to be whole.
We each have the ability to redefine our ‘puzzle’ to be a complete picture.
This journey toward embracing our "missing pieces" is a lifelong process, but it’s one that leads to deeper self-acceptance, resilience, and authenticity. Whether you are navigating the complexities of trauma or simply trying to find your footing in a demanding world, know that the feeling of being incomplete is not a flaw—it’s part of the human experience. The beauty of life lies in the discovery of who we are, and the peace that comes when we finally realize we are enough, just as we are.
The Power of Trying: Finding Light Through the Darkest Times
Long ago, I found myself in the middle of a very dark chapter in my life. I was seated across from a mental health practitioner, feeling lost, frustrated, and overcome with despair. Every option felt impossible; every solution seemed out of reach. I looked at him, his pen poised above the prescription pad, and I cried out, “But what can I do?” His answer was simple, yet profound: “You can always try.”
It was a small statement that held a powerful truth, one that has guided me time and again in different circumstances. No matter how bleak things might feel, we always have the choice to try. It doesn’t mean knowing exactly what to do or being sure of the outcome. It simply means taking a step—even a tiny one—in some direction.
There’s a saying that it’s easier to steer a moving object than one that is stationary. This truth applies to our energy as well. Movement, no matter how small, creates momentum. And when we try—when we just take a single step forward—we shift from being stuck to being in motion. That motion opens doors we couldn’t see when standing still. The simple act of trying is a quiet, resilient whisper to the universe that we aren’t giving up.
When we commit to trying, we enter a world of infinite possibilities, often described as “infinite diversity in infinite combinations.” It’s not about having all the answers or taking leaps; it’s about being open to what might come next. Even the smallest effort is never wasted. We may not see immediate results, but those efforts have a way of building on each other. Sometimes they surprise us, showing up as opportunities we hadn’t dreamed of or as new people entering our lives when we least expected them.
In life and career, the act of trying often leads us to places we wouldn’t have found otherwise. New connections, fresh ideas, and unexpected solutions often appear only after we’ve taken that first step. Trying is its own reward, giving us not only hope but also opening us to experiences that enrich us in ways we couldn’t have planned.
So, when you find yourself in a moment of doubt, remember: you can always try. That small act of courage, of moving forward despite uncertainty, is what shapes the path to a brighter tomorrow. Keep moving. Keep trying. A new chapter may be closer than you think.
Harnessing the Power of Self-Assessment Tools: A Key to Intentional Career Planning
When it comes to career planning, one of the most empowering ways to set yourself up for success is to build a deep understanding of your unique strengths, areas for growth, and personal goals. One of the most effective approaches for achieving this is through the combined use of self-assessment tools and career coaching. These tools—ranging from aptitude and personality assessments to skills tests—are valuable resources that help bring your core traits and abilities into focus, providing a strong foundation upon which you can design a fulfilling career path.
The Role of Self-Assessment Tools in Career Planning
Many people first encounter self-assessment tools in high school, often through aptitude and skill tests that encourage students to think about their potential career paths. But these tools go far beyond that first exposure. Today, self-assessment options range from fun, informal quizzes on social media to comprehensive, research-backed assessments that dive deeply into one’s personality, skills, and preferences. Used thoughtfully, these tools can be transformative for career seekers at any stage, offering a unique opportunity to reflect on who you are, what you want, and where you’re going.
Uncovering Strengths and Building Self-Awareness
Self-assessment tools bring crucial self-awareness to the forefront by helping you see yourself objectively. They can reveal strengths you may not have realized you have or help to clarify those that have remained underdeveloped. This self-awareness is an invaluable asset in career planning, as it allows you to identify and maximize your most marketable skills and traits. Self-assessments can guide you toward roles and industries where your abilities will shine and where your unique contributions will be valued.
Self-assessment tools are not only about identifying strengths but also about recognizing areas for growth. Suppose you have a dream job in mind but lack certain technical skills. In that case, the results of an assessment can help outline a clear path for skill development, highlighting areas where upskilling or additional education could be beneficial. It’s a forward-thinking approach that empowers you to focus on skill-building efforts strategically, increasing your potential to thrive in your desired role.
These tools can also help you identify if you have the right aptitude for the career you are looking at and can save you the heartache by potentially wasting time chasing a path not meant for you. These tools can help you find ways to fulfill your desires with career options that will match not only your skills but your values as well.
How Career Coaches Enhance Self-Assessment Insights
While self-assessment tools are undoubtedly powerful on their own, combining them with the insights of a career coach can elevate your career planning process even further. A skilled career coach can help you interpret your results, guiding you on how to leverage strengths and address areas for improvement. In my coaching work, I integrate self-assessment tools to help clients clarify their personal performance habits, preferences, and overall career readiness. By analyzing these results together, we gain a clear understanding of what kinds of work environments, responsibilities, and roles align best with their aspirations and strengths.
A career coach can also help you broaden your perspective, uncovering career paths you may not have considered. Self-assessment results can highlight soft skills, latent talents, and hidden strengths that shine a light on new possibilities. Through coaching, you can explore how these qualities might translate into career options that align with your ideal lifestyle, work-life balance, and long-term goals.
Creating a Strategic and Aligned Career Path
When used in tandem, self-assessment tools and career coaching provide a structured, intentional approach to career planning. Together, they can help you see a clear path forward, identifying both immediate next steps and longer-term goals. They allow you to create a career path that fits seamlessly into your current lifestyle while also aligning with the future lifestyle you envision.
By utilizing self-assessment tools and engaging with a career coach, you equip yourself with the clarity, confidence, and actionable insights needed to make career choices with intention. This partnership empowers you to navigate career transitions, make skill development decisions, and explore new roles with a strategic mindset—ultimately leading to a career journey that is both fulfilling and aligned with your true self.
Final Thoughts
Self-assessment tools and career coaching offer a comprehensive, empowering approach to career planning that centers on personal growth and self-awareness. Whether you are just starting out, changing careers, or simply looking to fine-tune your current trajectory, leveraging these tools can be transformative. The journey to a fulfilling career is not just about knowing what you want to do but also about understanding who you are. When you combine self-assessment insights with personalized coaching, you set yourself up to build a career that resonates with both your professional goals and your personal aspirations.
#careercoaching, #teamwork, #professionaldevelopment, #personaldevelopment, #investinginyourself
Another person's perspective is one of life's greatest teachers
One of life’s greatest teachers is the perspective of another person. When we feel stuck or unclear in our decisions, seeking a different viewpoint can be the key to moving forward.
Seeking another perspective is a powerful tool that I’ve used time and again when faced with uncertainty or a lack of direction. It allows us to step outside our own mental frameworks, which are often shaped by our personal experiences, beliefs, and upbringing. Our perspective, while valuable, can sometimes be too narrow, causing us to overlook solutions that are right in front of us.
Why We Get Stuck in Our Own Viewpoint
As individuals, we are naturally limited by our own biases. Our thoughts, decisions, and problem-solving abilities are shaped by the influences of our past—the cultural, social, and familial experiences we've had. These experiences form the lens through which we see the world, and though this lens is useful, it can also restrict our ability to see alternatives.
When we’re faced with a problem, the solution may be just out of sight, hidden by these mental limitations. That’s where seeking another perspective can help. By stepping outside our own viewpoint and engaging with someone else’s, we can gain new insights and unlock previously unseen opportunities.
The Benefits of Seeking a Different Perspective
When we share our situation with someone else—whether it's a trusted friend, colleague, or coach—and take the time to really listen, we often find clarity. Listening to another’s viewpoint can help in several ways:
Revealing blind spots: Others can point out what we might have missed or misunderstood.
Improving communication: Engaging with different perspectives helps us become better listeners and more effective communicators.
Building empathy and compassion: Understanding how others see us and the world cultivates empathy, appreciation, and respect for both ourselves and those around us.
Enhancing cultural, gender, and generational awareness: Exposure to a wide range of perspectives broadens our understanding of how different backgrounds influence thinking.
Practical Steps to Seek and Embrace Different Perspectives
When you’re struggling with a decision or unsure of your next step, consider seeking out a different perspective by:
Talking to a trusted confidant: Whether it's a friend, mentor, or coach, engaging with someone who knows you well can provide invaluable insight. They may offer suggestions or ideas that hadn’t crossed your mind.
Reaching out to a colleague: A professional peer can provide a different angle on work-related issues, helping you see the situation from a business perspective or offering industry-specific advice.
Engaging with diverse groups: Actively seeking out diverse opinions, especially from people of different cultures, genders, or generations, can expand your worldview and enhance your problem-solving skills.
The Long-Term Impact of Expanding Your Perspective
Seeking other perspectives doesn’t just help in the short term—it has lasting effects on your personal and professional life. Broadening your view helps you:
Strengthen your network: The more perspectives you seek, the more connections you build. These relationships can be invaluable both personally and professionally.
Boost your emotional intelligence: Regularly practicing empathy and compassion increases your emotional capacity, helping you navigate interpersonal relationships with greater ease.
Expand your leadership potential: For anyone in a leadership role, being able to see from multiple perspectives is a critical skill. It enables better decision-making, fosters inclusive environments, and improves team dynamics.
Whether you're making a tough personal decision or seeking to grow your professional capacity, embracing the power of another’s viewpoint will help you become more adaptable, empathetic, and informed. So next time you're feeling stuck, remember that the key to moving forward might be through someone else’s eyes.